Spring has sprung…..the grass is riz…..I wonder where my foot-speed is?!

With apologies to any true poets who might be lingering out there in the membership, the answer to the question is an emphatic "Gone!" Gone into the black hole of a winter of relative inactivity….gone like a late-March snow disappearing into a re-emerging back yard….just plain gone.

I once heard that "Nature takes care of its own." If that's true, I must have done something to offend "Mom," unless adding a few pounds to my waistline is her idea of a playful joke. What's up with this, anyway? Our two cats just spent three months alternately sleeping on the heating ducts, eating eight times a day, and walking slowly out the front door only to reappear moments later at the back door ready to come in, and yet on the first warm, dry day they were ready to sprint across our property in pursuit of the neighborhood squirrels and birds.

Following their lead, I went to great lengths this winter to assure that I didn't over-exert myself, that I ate early and often, and that I took frequent opportunities to rest. Seemed the perfect training regimen, and, if it worked annually for a couple of brain-dead cats, it was bound to work for a semi-rational being like myself. Right? Well….as the recent Hertz commercials intoned….not exactly.

Imagine my surprise when I finally rediscovered my Brooks, donned my shorts, tee-shirt and windbreaker, stepped out into the street, looked down the block and immediately proceeded to assume the running form of a dry-land penguin. Had someone slipped a hobble on me? Where was my stride-length from last fall? How come I was breathing like the Marlboro Man? As I looked back over my shoulder at our driveway I could see the two cats sprawled on the warm pavement where they seemed to have collapsed in a fit of laughter.

Does this seem fair? Now what? Can it be that I'm actually going to have to exert some time and effort to regain some semblance of running shape? And what is "shape," anyway? I know from experience that once I'm in "shape," I'll recognize it, but then I'll want to be in "better shape." Actually, I'm in some kind of shape now….it's just not good shape. But wait….isn't my shape now better than some two-pack-a day guy? How will I know when I'm in my "best shape?" And "best shape" compared to what? When I was 35….45…..even 55? I'm getting a headache.

Then there's the age-old problem faced by everyone who enjoys racing...whatever the distance...i.e. getting "faster." But….and here we go again….what does it mean to be "fast" or to "get faster?" Personally, it won't take much effort for me to get faster. When you're starting from ground zero, any improvement is…..well….improvement.

One becomes a faster runner/racer by adding some faster running to his or her training. Duh! For this type of enlightenment your parents put you through college, you ask? OK...it's not quantum physics, but it is a truism borne of logic and experience. Run faster and, over time, you'll run faster further.

Of course that begs the question of now that I'm running "faster", at what point will I be "fast?" And fast compared to what standard…..my own?….my age group?….other area runners? Even if I determine that I'm now able to run fast, will I be able to run even "faster" still….in which case I wasn't really running my "fastest"….just faster. How will I know?

Supposedly, with age comes wisdom. Don't believe it! With age comes confusion borne of too many years of trying (unsuccessfully) to figure things out. Maybe, as a friend recently told me, running long distances is unnatural to the human species. Our activity is, indeed, a relatively recent phenomenon when viewed over the course of human development. Maybe it's an evolutionary evolvement resulting from no longer having to chase down our daily food supply. Who knows….
My headache is getting worse….I think I need a nap…...

 

---

Questions or comments contact director@lmglaw.com